Beard Necessities (Winston Brothers, #7) shonen

{download books} My Blood ApprovesAuthor Amanda Hocking –

I bought this because I literally had 1 available credit on my visa I ve read some articles about the author and her newly earned bazillions and I thought, Self, is there a better way to piss away your hard earned last dollar than on a self published e book No, self, there is not The first half was a quick, mostly enjoyable read It really felt like I was reading a novel turned in to be work shopped in creative writing 101 in fact my reading enjoyment would have been increased if my copy had been a badly photocopied version that I could make notes and suggestions on.But the jig is up, the fun is over, Elvis has left the building, add another cliche here I m still determined to read, but it s going to be interrupted by the next good book website cat that catches my eye as it seems I am now trapped in the middle and the enjoyably bland narrator is crying ALL THE TIME It is truly wearing my patience Also, there are a lot of tiny time shifts and I m finding the story is getting a little messy She goes home, she cries, she sleeps, she wakes up, someone picks her up, she goes to their house, she cries, she goes home, she cries, she sleeps I am torn On the one hand I think this is a entertaining version of Twilight and on the other hand I just admitted that I read Twilight Well, it s finished I think she is a good storyteller the pace was right and the characters were likable But goddamn, I need to read something substantial and well written to get the poorly phrased sentences, bad word choices and shitty grammar out of my head Also, two stars because I finished it and that is saying something in my recently acquired fuss fest reading style.Did that sound bitchy After years of meaning to read this series and never quite getting around to it, I m finally getting around to it As I understand, Miss Hocking s is one such author who blazed such a trail through self publishing some odd years back so nowadays it s been mistaken for a beaten path to success I was overall entertained by this story snappy remarks, snazzy mythos but sometimes the plot stalled out due to characters hedging around need to know info well past the point of secrecy The back and forth bordered on filler, which frustrated me since I feel certain central characters were underdeveloped and a lot was left unexplained in the metaphysical department Nonetheless, I felt this is a solid and mostly fun start for a series and am interested to see how it pans out eventually It made use if tropes, but had it s own charm so I ll say it was a decent time that kept me turning pages. 20 one of the worst books ever Negative Stars.For starter, now I can confidentially say I ve finally encountered a book which can make Cassandra Clare s, Stephenie Meyer and Marie Lu s novels look like decent literature, and this book is My Blood Approves, by Amanda Hocking.So you ask what has gone wrong in this book Oh let s me think about it.just where should I begin Warning F words here and there, don t like don t read 1 The story is a Twilight s doppelgangerPlain Jane main girl meets mysterious handsome boy who saves her from danger Checks Endless details of the boring daily life of the Plain Jane main girl Checks Vampire boy finds the girl irresistible because her blood is special Checks Vampire boy has a rich adoptive family of attractive older vampires Checks All of the vampires in the boy s family are sexy and hot as fuck Checks Plain Jane main girl eagerly wants to ditch being human and embrace vampirism without a backward glance at her mortal family Checks.Need I go on 2 Meets Alice, an irredeemable spoiled brat and a Mary Sue who can put Bella Swan into total shameBefore I started reading this book, I just couldn t believe how irritating and hateful our Plain Jane main girl, namely Alice, can get Now it s official comparing with Alice, Bella Swan from Twilight suddenly looks like a decent and thoughtful character Plus only Clarissa Fray from City of Bones can outdo Alice at being a completely hateful spoiled brat Oh boy, how sad.For example, Alice and her younger brother Milo are raised by a single mother Said mother has been working 12 hours per day, 70 plus hours per week to make ends meet,but has the 17 years old Alice ever thought about getting a part time job to help her family No Never The thought has never crossed her mind.Plus, instead of looking after her 14 years old younger brother Milo when their mother is absent, Alice allows Milo to take charge of housekeeping duties So Milo has to cook and wash FOR BOTH OF THEM whilst Alice is out wandering around streets and clubs at night, hanging out with her BFF and hooking up the hot guy Jack, whom she had just met.To make things even better, Alice doesn t care about her own education, she refuses to do homework even when her brother Milo has to step in to remind her Look, see Alice even thinks view spoiler immortality and being a vampire is far important than continuing her education hide spoiler I m not even 60% done with this book, but I might as well be My god, Alice You re a fucking imbecile A whiney, boneless, emotional protagonist that I d like to meet just to shove over someplace high You re like Bella Swan, except and I can t believe I m saying this Bella has a far deductive mind than you You know that part in Twilight where she goes, Vampire Never did I think I d applaud her observational skills, but here I am Jack s entire family has no goddamn temperature He s incredibly fast and strong and capable of fending off five thugs about to jump your bones His heartbeat is incredibly slow PRAY TELL, WHAT CAN HE BE Of course he s a werewolf Of course.You know those books written in third person with the purpose of allowing the reader some omniscience Well, I guess Hocking tries, but I can t help but feel like my detective skills are being severely underestimated I m very insulted if she thinks my idea of a good book is to be clenching my teeth and yelling, OMGZZZ HE IS A FUCKING VAMPIRE I GET THE HINTS CAN WE MOVE ON PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE This might have worked back then when Dracula was still a novelty, but this suspense only works now for real, unconventional monsters Like in Rick Yancey s books Or whatever the fuck Barrons is in the Fever series You don t get to say things like, he stiffened at the sight of the bloody cut on my finger and caressing my throat and expect people to have a migraine over the nature of your monster Sheesh Suspense aside, it doesn t help that Alice s life revolves around Jack, much like Bella s and even then she had Jacob as a distraction Imagine Twilight with Edward as the only love interest She meets Jack in the first chapter From then on it s Jack this, Jack that And he s all Let s hang out every day Alice BTW my entire family loves you, and although I know you find this creepy, together with how often I evade your questions, try to suppress any self preservation instincts and just be the family pet, ok Gah, my eyes just can t stop spinning in their sockets Hocking has no flair for character building or relationships I m bored out of my brains and this will probably be the last book I ll read from her I m kinda upset this is going to be my first book for 2012 On second thought, this is exactly the kind of book I ll have a blast reading one star reviews for It s exactly the kind of book that makes me friends on goodreads, based on taste alone. Teenager Alice Bonham s life feels crazy after she meets Jack With his fondness for pink Chuck Taylors and New Wave, he s unlike anyone she knows Then she meets his brother, Peter Even though he can t stand the sight of her, she s drawn to him Falling for two guys isn t even the worst of her problems Jack and Peter are vampires, and Alice finds herself caught between love and her own blood This book sucked sobad,it should be banned, and the author should be exiled to another galaxy I just can t believe there are a healthy amount of reviews that gush about how amazingly awesome this book is and I actually believed them There were the usual ME NO LIKE DIS AT ALL reviews, but with over a bajillion people going on and on about how kewl it is, I simply had to see for myself I picked up my ereader with high expectations I put down my ereader with smoke coming out of my nose and ears This book is annoyinglyTOOsimilar toTwilight,it could be it s awful cousin Martin WhereTwilightsucked, this one sucked even WORSE At leastTwilightwas an original idea with Bella and Edward s undying pathetic romance and the sparkling, and etc, etc, etc butMy Blood Approveswas justno I see why the author self published the book, because she knew she sucked so bad that no publishing company would allow such crap although herTrollseries, or whatever it s called, is getting published, but I didn t read those yet and it s beside the point Now, with the bad points of this awful story 1 The Characters Alice Alice, Alice, oh darling stupid Alice She pissed me off throughout the whole book She is a whiney, demanding, dependent, naive, stupid, pathetic, mentally deranged crybaby I m serious Throughout the book, she is either complaining, whining or crying She does or says nothing that makes the reader like her at ALL On the contrary, she makes the reader, or at least me, wanna grab her from the story and throw her across the universe, until she gets sucked in a black hole and never returns Jack He s 24 I get that he saves Alice, but what I don t get it why the FRICK would she accept a ride from him when he s a total stranger, and hang out with him from then on I mean, he tells her that he s 24, but even after he tells her which was at the very beginning of the book , she still hang out with him I mean, shouldn t she stop and think whether he s some creepy pedophile or something I mean, so what of he saved her life Maybe he wants to end it himself, did she think of that And what I mostly don t get is why she s all OMG OMG OMG when he saves his number in her cell the night they first meet when she passes out or sleeps, I really can t remember which If a guy had done that to me, I d slap him so hard, his face would become a pancake It s like she can t believe she s gotten a guy s attention, now she s willing to do WHATEVER it takes to keep him on her leash Jesus I m sorry Back to Jack I don t mind immature guys, like playing around and stuff, I find that actually cute, but Jack is like, IMMATURE, underlined a hundred thousand times He s also a stalker, a pedophile, a pansy, and just plain annoying.Alice s brother Milo is an okay character, but I just wish he d act like a fourteen year old He reminds me of Jamie in The Host, who is attached to Melanie and acts like a kid than a fourteen year old He and Alice have an open relationship and they casually talk about sex and Milo s sexuality Aren t there supposed to be limits between brothers and sisters when it comes to certain subjects Well, I don t have a brother and my two younger sisters and I aren t really close, so I don t know, but I think that there should be limits somewhere HmmEzra, Mae and Peter wereokay Nothing remarkable Just annoying 2 the writing style The book was written by a preschooler There were SO many typos and grammatical errors and subject verb disagreements Moreover, in some areas in the story, the paragraphs and realizations weren t quite connected to each other perfectly well For example Alice would be all and I DO NOT quote I fell in love with Mae, nothing sexual or lesbian, but she s so nice, and so is Jack It suddenly dawned on me that I was a little in love with Jack Seriously Seriously SERIOUSLY With all the stupidity she dumped in this book, she can t add a few lines to connect to that It doesn t take a ROCKET SCIENTIST to figure THAT out 3 The plot Just think ofTwilightand you ve got your plot So, to wrap up, this book is TERRIBLE The characters are PATHETICALLY ANNOYING The writing style is HORRENDOUS And it s a MAJOR waste of TIME I have a migraine right now. I read the first couple of pages Alice and her friend Jane are chased by four big burly men and are rescued by another guy, then they decide that it s OK to get into the car of a complete stranger because he saved them from being raped or killed.Apparently a rescue is the new sweets from a stranger.I m sorry, it just made me LOL Not for me. Wow I still can t believe I brought this ebook from for 76p I originally thought that the price would speak for itself but it completely surprised me and now I have no idea why are selling it so cheap I LOVED this story I loved the way it gripped me all the way through I loved the characters and I loved the way the author did not just stick to an original love triangle I felt the story was unique and it left me cheering for both TEAM JACK TEAM PETER I can t not wait to read about them This book has a fantastic story line and is a definite must for anyone who is into the supernatural romance. the funny thing about this book, is that it is almost an exact replica of twilight, yet soo much better and thats saying something because this book sucks p there s no goody goody edward bella in this one, and there is a better sense of humor,, and thats why it gets two stars,, aha Teenager Alice Bonham S Life Feels Crazy After She Meets Jack With His Fondness For Pink Chuck Taylors And New Wave, He S Unlike Anyone She Knows Then She Meets His Brother, Peter Even Though He Can T Stand The Sight Of Her, She S Drawn To Him Falling For Two Guys Isn T Even The Worst Of Her Problems Jack And Peter Are Vampires, And Alice Finds Herself Caught Between Love And Her Own Blood So, this woman just got a 2 million advance from St Martin s for a series of her books I bought this one for.99 off Kindle , which is where she got started I admire her energy and self starter mentality she s basically made herself into a cottage industry worth millions now, after a handful of paranormal romance novels But I read this one after reading Alden Bell s brilliant, fascinating, edge of seat gripping The Reapers are the Angels, which has style and substance and tone and reads, to me, as pretty feminist or at least it hands you a fully realized teenaged female hero who kicks ass And Hocking does none of that Her writing is drab, boring, plotless, structureless It s the same navel gazing loops of vanilla prose that Meyers can spew out endlessly for the Twilight shlock like a soft serve fro yo machine Neither Hocking nor Meyers seems particularly interested in challenging traditional, boring ass gender roles, and they both trade shamelessly on the tiredest vampire and romance heroine cliches So, while I appreciate Hocking s entrepreneurship and her apparently blase attitude to being wooed by the publishing industry now that she s selling millions of her books, I can only wish that I lived in a world where this crap wouldn t sell a single copy, and books like Bell s would fly off the shelves.